Everyone wants a piece of me

Being tall, I’ve received my fair share of related jokes and comments. One of the more interesting suggestions, likely made by social aggitators who demand equality in all things, is the suggestion that I receive surgury to remove several inches from my legs which can then be grafted into the aggitator’s legs in order to equalize height. As attractive as this offer may sound to those who don’t like being tall, I have up to this point graciously declined all such offers.

But today, I’ve found someone who wants another part of me. I was at work at a prestigious tree farm, where my task of the hour was to move a large number of potted trees from one location to another. Potted trees may occaisionally look like this :

They didn’t look like these this time, since I was moving Larix laricina, not a random assortment of deciduous trees. At any rate, the foreman (here named ‘S.’) commented on the amount of walking I was doing. In response, I half-jokingly gestured at my stomach and said, “S., I’ve got ten extra pounds I need to burn off here. Walking is good for me!” The middlesized, skinny S. looked at me and said, “Why you burn them all?? Give them to me!”

So there you have it. Someone does want your fat. But instead you choose to either burn it or to hoard it closely. How very selfish.